At least, I'm trying to leave academia.

I got another interview - at the only other job I applied for that was actually looking for someone with a Ph.D. It's academic research.  The universe wants to keep me in academia.  It's not my dream job, but it would work for a while.

Except, of course, it's a term position. These term positions are driving me mad, but that's all there is. How does one buy a house a one one-year term? How does one make a home, a life? Even if I get the offer, and even if I take it, I'll still have to keep looking for something for next year...

But it's something. Do I turn down the offer of something (if I were to get the offer) just because it's not quite right? How long will it be until the next offer comes?

Leaving academia is turning out to be hard to do.

Moving home... and feeling zen

Since I quit my adjunct job and don't have another job lined up, I should be stressed out, no?  Shouldn't I be panicking looking for a new job, wondering how I'll pay my rent, how I'll save this career after dropping out of the academic rat race?

Nope

I'm feeling zen. It just feels right. I've got a couple months of coasting, where I still have the income to pay the rent, and I'm just going with it.  I'm sort of watching for jobs and I'll apply for any really good ones. But applying like mad for anything and everything? Nah.  I'm taking this as a vacation.

Packing is a bitch. I'm ahead of schedule though, so all is well. Y'all think I'm in a hurry to get out of this two-bit town? Yes, yes I am.

I still don't know what's ahead of me, but I have peace now, knowing that it will work out.

Despite how much I agonized over this decision, the feeling that it was the right one couldn't possibly be stronger. Life is good.

I did it.

I did it. I quit academia.

I'm leaving this two-bit town and returning home. I'm prioritizing my personal life over work. I'm not sacrificing my home in order to be a professor.

It was a hard, hard decision, but I know it was the right one. I feel so relieved.

Of course, now I'm applying for anything and anything in my destination city, just to pay the rent. Wouldn't you know it? The first job interview I land is for a temporary contract as an academic researcher.

What??? I thought I quit academia???

I don't want the temp. I don't want the contracts. I don't want the world of academia where you're always supposed to do more. It's a big position and would be a challenge. I don't really feel like I want a challenge at this point. I'm a little burned out from this year's professorship. I kinda want to coast for a bit.   But the topic of this research? It's something I really, really believe in. I would be doing good.

I will go to the interview and see. I wish I didn't have to keep making the decision, but it seems that is how it might be.

On a happy note, I'M GOING HOME!!!  Ghad, I'm so happy to be leaving this town.

I don't know what the future holds for me, but I have a feeling it will be good, one way or another.